For The Love Of...

WARNING: If you are of the male species I would stop reading here... Unless you are like my brother who isn't bothered by this kind of stuff and actually told us one year that he was going to dress up like a tampon. We're going to get into TMI territority...


It's the first day of my period, so I'm feeling terrible and looking like Bloaty Frumpypants. I really am looking like a big fuddy-duddy in flats (b/c now my bum is not hoisted up by high heels), black pants (see the first sentence of this paragraph) and a stupid looking flowy creme shirt and black cardigan over it (duh it's cold in my office). Hair is frizzing out just to get on my last nerve. And then... the dreaded email all of us lucky-Aunt-Flo-is-visiting gals don't want to see in our inbox~ $1 off ice cream sundaes at Coldstone. Lucious, calorie filled, go-straight-to-my-bum, ice cream. Why? Why do they tempt me? So this in turn makes me immediately forward the email to my man, who's trying to eat healthy for his upcoming man-trip, and beg him to take me to indulge myself tonight. And of course if he knows what is good for him he will politely accept and not say a word when I down 2/3rds of it. Hey, I'm leaving a good 30% for him. My body is feeling all bent out of shape. And where did this headache come from? Seriously. Oh yeah, and one more thing~ it must be a man who runs the whole tampon conglomoration. Why else would we be charged an unlawful amount for something we need. I ain't walkin' around with no diaper on. No no no. That's for the dogs. And old people. And ladies who have just had babies. I think that anything that happens during your "special time" should be automatically forgiven or forgotten. Take your pic. Unless it's on the slightest part of the nice scale. Then you should be praised like it was the first time you were ever praised. Because people, when you're low on hormones crazy things happen. And nice isn't one of them.


I miss my hormones.