Why does learning how to communicate suck (sorry for the word mom)? I'm not only referring to just talking and carrying on a conversation. What I mean is learning to communicate honestly and openly about how you are feeling in a healthy, non-threatening way.
I was horrible at communicating this way in my last relationship. When something was bothering me I would clam up and go silent. Or wiggle in bed until he asked me what was wrong. It was the same with friends and family when I had an issue. I have always been afraid to say something when it's bothering me because of the fear of rejection or them telling me that it doesn't matter and making me feel like I am a complete wack-o. Mostly, I was afraid of becoming vulnerable to that other person.
So when Ben had to change plans last night on me, for a legitimate reason, what did I do? I tried to guilt trip him. And then he called me out on it.What? Did he really just call me out on that? Yep. I made a promise to him a few weeks ago that I wouldn't ever go to bed mad at him. Because then it would just fester over night and I would wake up even madder! Girls~ you know what I'm talking about!! So I called him and we talked about it. And I went to bed feeling loved. Not all pissy like I could have.
I hasn't been easy. But it's been worth it. I'm more open with my feelings with not only Ben, but with my family and my friends. Sometimes it hasn't always worked out to be open and honest when something is bothering me, but at least I feel good about it. On the other hand, it's made my relationship stronger with others.
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